August 14 Dad was hospitalized in Bemidji. Sister and her friend S drove down that night. Sister and I saw each other for the first time in at least 9 months. We said hi over our father's sickbed. Dad was in ICU awaiting surgery the following day. I mostly tried to avoid looking her in the eye as that is one of NAMI's guidelines for dealing with the mentally ill. My strategy was to avoid her as much as possible. I didn't want to do anything to antagonize her. I was afraid she would attack me or pull out Dad's IVs. I didn't really think she would but it was a concern and something I wanted to prevent.
She doesn't like crowds, hospitals, the heat, or stress. She has to deal with all of those things in this crisis. Dad is her hero and has been her link to the family. He has taken a lot of her abuse but has kept open lines of communication with her. Sister loves Dad dearly and deserves to be with him. Whether she knows it or not she needs Mom and I, too.
Sister and S camped. S is an old hippie and brought her tent. The last night they stayed at the Akeley campground which is close to my house. Sister came over to use the bathroom and plug her phone in. She went outside to smoke. When she came back in she said she'd be back later to get her phone and left. I kept smelling cigarette smoke. I don't think she went back to her campsite. I think she was lurking outside watching me 45 minutes.
Sister did pretty well considering the circumstances. When she started to glare at me I left the room. She became angry a few times and Mom told her to calm down or leave the room. Dad was moved out of ICU August 19. Sister returned to Duluth the next day.
August 21 Dad began to decline and had another operation. He is in ICU again. He has a breathing tube and is heavily sedated. Sister drove back to Bemidji. We spoke a few times on the phone. We had a normal conversation. Well, if it's normal to talk about your Dad having surgery. While she didn't sound quite like my sister and best friend, she didn't sound like a homicidal maniac. She stayed at my house. I locked my bedroom door. She did yell a few times. But this is not a fun or easy situation for anyone.
Oh fuck! Sister just called me and that insane tone is back in her voice and she demanded to know where I was. When I said I was at work she said, "Well, you better cancel it! You better come take care of your Mother! Right now! Cuz I am sick of this shit!" Mom called me a minute later and said that she started acting weird and freaked out. She said she is by her car. Mom doesn't want her to drive when the voices are bad.
She does not know where I work. I was hired by a bank a few months ago and during my first week Sister called the bank and told them they should not have hired me because I'm a drug addict and a thief. They didn't believe it and they didn't fire me. I explained the situation but I always felt like the other employees treated me differently after that. I never felt comfortable working there. Is it worse to be a drug addict and a thief or to have a crazy sister who calls your place of employment and says you are?
The real question is if Sister's car is at my house after work do I walk in the door and say hi or do I call the cops?
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