unhappy easter

Dear Sister,

I miss you so much! You should have been with us on Easter! We need you! Please come back to us!

I made your Glazed Carrots with Sage. It turned out ok but was not as good as yours.

I don't know what to do anymore. I leave my phone off so I don't have to talk to you or read your texts. I don't answer the phone when you call. The rare occasions I do, I resolve to NEVER do it again! There is no point in listening to your insults, obscenities and bizarre accusations. If listening to you scream gave you peace for a few minutes I would do it. I would do it! I would subject myself to any kind of pain to give you some relief! But talking to you seems to make you worse and it makes gives the voices and your delusions more power. You get angry if I agree with you and you get angry if I don't. I can no longer tolerate your phone calls. They are breaking me! They are killing me!

I feel so guilty that I cannot help you. I will never recover from the guilt of leaving you alone in the dark, lonely world of schizophrenia. I know that if circumstances were reversed you would never give up on me, you would answer your phone no matter what. You would save me.